In The Air Tonight
by Griever5
Summary: Squall thinks about why he is the way he is. pls read and review. i know my writing sucks but flame me if you wanna. erm..i dunno why it's not in paragraph form so it may seem a bit weird. sorry if it's hard to understand.


A five year old Squall sat on the steps of the run-down orphanage, thinking. Matron, the lady who took care of the kids, and the other children were already inside sleeping. No one knew he was outside, beneath the twinkling starry sky. Just a few moments ago, he had watched Ellone; his 'sister' getting into a car and let it take her away. Away from him. He didn't know what to do. He had watched, confused, wondering why she was leaving. He told myself that she would be back for sure. she wouldn't just leave them like that. all of them. Something in his mind told him that she was never coming back. that she had left because she didn't like it here, but his young mind pushed the negative thought away. No, no. He told himself firmly. She will come back.  
  
II can feel it coming in the air tonight Hold on I've been waiting for this moment For all my life Hold on Can you feel it coming in the air tonight? Hold on Hold on/I  
  
The next morning, Matron told everyone that Ellone had left because she had some other 'matters' to attend to but she will be back after a while. Squall's mind cheered on the thought that Ellone would be coming back. He didn't doubt Matron; she wouldn't lie. A voice told him that something was not right. Days passed into weeks and into months and still Ellone had not returned. One day, Squall heard Matron talking to her husband, Cid that Ellone might not be coming back. The words hit him like a bolt and devastated, he ran. Ran and ran, tumbling through the flower field, warm salty tears falling from his cheeks. He crashed headfirst into Seifer. Looking up at his rival's sneering smirk, he knew that Seifer knew too. Seifer didn't seem to care whether Ellone was coming back or not. Taking the opportunity, he teased Squall constantly after that. About how now that Ellone was gone, he was just a little defenseless puppy. Soon, Squall began to believe Seifer's taunting words, his annoying smirk; that Ellone didn't care about him, about any of them. He felt betrayed and after that, he began to feel angry everyday. Even as the reasons faded from his memory, somewhere deep inside, he was hurt and betrayed, but still he held onto the tiny flickering spark of hope that she would come back.  
  
IWell if you told me you were drowning I would not lend a hand I've seen your face before my friend But I don't know if you know who I am Well I was there and I saw what you did Saw it with my own two eyes So you can wipe off that grin I know where you've been It's all been a pack of lies/I  
  
Squall grew older and a year passed. He had forgotten about why he was always so easily annoyed, so cold and detached from everything. He had no memory, no clue as to why he became like that. All he knew that he was still waiting for. someone. Every night, he would sit on the front steps and wait. And wait. And wait. Even if he was raining and he got sick later, he would sit and wait. He kept waiting with a kind of hopelessness, not knowing what he was waiting for, why he was waiting.  
  
II can feel it coming in the air tonight Hold on I've been waiting for this moment For all my life Hold on/I  
  
He waited and waited. Two years passed and it became a strange habit. He would sit outside no matter what the weather and stare at the dark sky for the whole night and wake up on the steps, back sore and aching. Soon, he couldn't even feel the pain anymore. Everything dwindled to a dull fog in his mind. Nothing was as important as staying awake at night just to be outside. He didn't even remember that he was actually waiting. He just knew that he had to be outside, just in case. just in case. He would sit and think, wondering why he even did this. Sometimes he would feel a surge of dying hope, of a stabbing pain, a dull ache in his heart. He never showed it. He would go through the day like a robot, moving mechanically, eyes clouded, empty and gray. Somehow, he welcomed this pain, this hurt, because it was a sign that he was alive. As he grew, all he could feel was the numb pain buried inside him, burning.  
  
IWell I remember I remember Don't worry How could I ever forget? It was the first time, The last time we ever met But I know the reason Why you keep this silence up No you don't fool me Well the hurt doesn't show But the pain still grows It's no stranger to you and me/I  
  
9 years and the pain was all he could feel. The dull stinging pain of lost. He hid everything inside him, masking his eyes so no one could look into his eyes and see what he hid inside. He hid the pain, the grief, letting his anger rule him. He couldn't ever remember when was the last time he felt something besides this pain, this grief. He could only remember anger. Burning inside him, blazing wildly. and the cold ice within him, the ice that froze his heart. Fire and ice mixed into his soul, his very being, but still he waited. Waited for someone to tell him the answers to his past.  
  
II can feel it coming in the air tonight Hold on I've been waiting for this moment For all my life Hold on I can feel it in the air tonight Hold on I've been waiting for this moment For all my life Hold on/I  
  
All he remembers was that he was abandoned. In life, in death, alone for all eternity. 


End file.
